That THING:: Soulscape journaling

 

Today I wanted to explore the THING that holds me back.

The conversation started with safety, about being able to have what I need to live to survive and recognizing that I’m not thriving. I osculated between desire and dread— not good enough, being a loser and being a total failure.

What surfaced— allowed myself to feel into, then run away from was the core belief that if I do what I love I won’t survive.

That’s fucked up!

The truth of what is lurking is just under the surface. To fix that hurt I tried to call up my magical thinking, that vibration that surpasses the bullshit; the glitter and the darkness; the light and the dark.

All I can do is be present with my feels and let whatever wants to show up, show up. What’s essential is to keep allowing my truth to come forth — first in this journal entry, then in my life. Ultimately all that's left is me- my feels, my stories, and my truth. It's not always pretty, or amazing but its a way to love all of me.

What wants to show up in your painting today? What truth (and stories) want to surface? What is your Soul asking to be healed?

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